THE GREAT GOLF DEBATE

by Derrick Fogle

The discipline of footbag golf has always had its supporters -- and detractors. The debate about the validity of footbag golf as a part of footbag sports cropped up recently in discussions on the footbag listserve. The desire to eliminate golf runs high among those who are computer and Internet savvy, so the game has been trashed pretty bad on that forum. The reaction of those outside the listserve circle, however, is much less likely to have an itchy trigger finger pointed at golf.

To be as fair as possible, I've always disliked golf, and thought is was kind of silly. Then again, I've always been really, really bad at footbag golf and may have an axe to grind. After having admitted that, I will try to present the issues of the golf debate in some semblance of objectivity. Take my interpretation for what it's worth; objectivity in reporting is as big a lie as there is.

VALIDITY

One of my first arguments against golf is that it goes against the very definition of footbag: attempting to keep a small, round beanbag-like object airborne using your feet and knees. In the first, and all other disciplines of footbag sports, your object is to keep the footbag off the ground indefinitely. Only in net do you even get into the gray area of trying to get your opponent to fail at this. In golf, however, you never kick a footbag more than once consecutively. Does a game that shoots for a drop for every kick belong in footbag?

Maybe so. The goal, after all, is to land the footbag in a capturing device; not exactly a drop. Despite the lack of consecutive kicks, golf still promotes the same concept that other footbag games do: consistency and accuracy. Golf is a distinctive study of foot angles, bag contact points, and contact velocity, and their effect on the resulting flight path of a full range of footbag types from rock hard to big, floppy watermelons.

Now, if someone could rectify these observations with the fact that I can kick 5,000 consecutive on demand, but can't consistently make a 5-ft putt, they would bestow a great gift of peace and tranquility on my life. Obviously, footbag golf requires some unique skills that are not found in consecutives and freestyle. The question remains, then: are the skills and game of footbag golf valid to footbag in general?

ACCESSIBILITY

Here is one of the primary arguments for footbag golf: since it does not impose that consecutives burden on players, it is less demanding and therefore more accessible to players of all ages and types. Golf is also one of two real "copycat" type footbag games in that golf, in general, can and is played with many types of objects. Everyone already knows the general concepts of golf; only the substitution of equipment is required for footbag golf. The social aspect of golfing groups makes it less threatening than other more individualistic or competitive games. Golf is simply more accessible, and thus a valuable promotional tool.

Really? Accessibility is fine if you happen to have the mindset and skills that golf require. Other people can just as easily tune into net or freestyle. And I don't think anyone will dispute the simplicity of the concept of consecutives; that too is as old as the hills, and footbag is just a recent object to test a person's ability to exert control over his/her environment. The `copycat' argument, too, cuts both ways: footbag golf is also really contrived and really quite stupid because of that. I mean, does anyone really know all the rules of footbag golf? The social aspect, while real, can also backfire. How many footbag golf players have been in a group with a sour-faced, nitpicking, dead-serious golf player? I have, and it's not exactly less threatening, or more fun.

Some say footbag golf is inherently stupid, and providing access to footbag through such silliness is self-defeating. Yet, golf may be stupid only to those (like me) who have alot of trouble with it. The only cold, hard fact I can throw out is that footbag golf consistently attracts the largest field of players of any of the footbag games. Score one for the accessibility crowd.

PROMOTION

Running hand in hand with the accessibility issue is promotion. Supporters claim that golf is a positive force in introducing people to footbag. "Captain" Kirk Flagg cites concrete examples. Others flatly deny that claim, and say that they have never seen golf entice a person to join the ranks of footbag players. I can see both sides, and also see that none of the sanctioned footbag games contributes significantly to the promotion of footbag at the present.

All mixed up in the debate of promotion is teevee and the media. Again, I must admit my bias: I think teevee is stupider than footbag golf. I own two golf holes, but I don't own a single teevee set. That aside, the conventional wisdom is that the media, and especially teevee since footbag is such an action-oriented activity, is crucial to footbag promotion. If you get the media interested in footbag, then you can get other people to support footbag, since they will inevitably get a slice of the coverage. If you do get media coverage - especially that action teevee shot - the enthusiast's logic concludes that the masses will flock to footbag.

So what's this got to do with footbag golf? Golf is the one game that has been effectively ridiculed by media. At least three infamous teevee spots come to mind that were edited and presented to make footbag look stupid, and they all used golf to do it. When teevee is seen as the holy grail of footbag promotion, any negative coverage can be disastrous. How can the fledgling sport of footbag afford to have golf out there, begging to be ridiculed? Dennis Jones asserts that teevee is so important to footbag that if it doesn't look good on teevee, it shouldn't be done.

A fact that detractors overlook, though, is that even without golf, those same camera crews and editors would have come up with some other way to ridicule footbag. Even though footbag golf may have been the most convenient target, there is little or no doubt that the unhappy cameraperson and the sadistic editor would have butchered our little sport, no matter what. Take a close look. Even the most respected sports get ridiculed on teevee sometimes. Out of all the media coverage footbag has gotten, very little has been negative. When it does happen, people look for a reason, and golf may just be the convenient scapegoat.

Is teevee the holy grail of footbag growth? To a certain extent, yes; teevee programming is as real to many people as real life is, and sometimes more so. But then again, no; I've landed many teevee spots -- all of them very positive coverage of freestyle or net -- and I've never been able to trace a significant jump in footbag interest because of it. I'm sure others would contend otherwise. Media coverage has at least expanded the public's awareness of footbag. Within the last four years, I have seen the average person's knowledge go from almost nothing, to knowing what footbag -- not just Hacky Sack (TM) -- is.

Getting back to the subject of footbag golf, the question regarding promotion remains. Does its value of accessibility outweigh the possible damage that can occur when media is given a convenient target to ridicule? Your answer is as good an any.

SUGGESTIONS

My own, of course. First, I think it's way too late to eliminate it. Footbag golf is here to stay, silly or not. Second, a suggestion from Steve Smith, is to simply keep media away from footbag golf. It can be our little secret, without having to kill it to save us from the specter of savage media. Third, find us a course where we can be more social. I mean drinking beer, yes! Get some private land that a drinking course can be established on and make two simple rule changes. One, allow drinking during golf rounds, and Two, any sour-faced, way-too-serious golf players who start nitpicking must guzzle one beer for each nitpick. With these new rules, we can even change the concept of consecutive footsteps and make it one step for each fall-down-drunk. Even I might be able to have fun, then!


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